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Joke of the Day

"HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!"

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"What did the proctologist do to those poor people's butts? He rectum."
"What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don't take me for granite!"
"I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She cried & then she hugged me."
"The sun is in so many movies.. It's like one giant star!"
"What do you call an owl who does magic? WHO-DINI"
"Did you hear about the recent earthquake research? The information is groundbreaking"
"A man walks into a doctor's office completely naked except he's wrapped in saran wrap... The doctor takes one look at him and says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""
"TRIVIA: The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 cost 1,502 lives. Adjusting for inflation, that would be over 8,500 people today!"
"I'm more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo."