163681

Joke of the Day

"A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as ""Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."""

"Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!"

"Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday"

"My wife just asked me why she came home to find marinara sauce all over our sleeping baby's head. Sorry babe, I'M NOT A DETECTIVE."

"What do you call a hard rock fan going through gender reassignment surgery? A transition metal."

"What do you call 2000 mockingbirds? Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)"

"What's better than four roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ"

"When I hear the Christmas song about nuts roasting on an open fire, my testicles move into a defensive formation."

"what's the worst part for a zombie about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair."

"Why does the US name Arkansas Arkansas Because Its Arkansas not YourKansas"