16392

Joke of the Day

"When I hear the Christmas song about nuts roasting on an open fire, my testicles move into a defensive formation."

"If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about."

"Chemistry joke... I would tell a chemistry joke, but there'd be no reaction."

"I'm at a bar in the United States and there's still a lot of white people who are way too confident with their dancing abilities."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"The mall crowd parts as I shuffle through after waking up naked on the food court floor. ""Too pudgy to be a terminator"" says one woman."

"Why do ducks have flat webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires."

"China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."

"My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive."

"What has 9 arms and still sucks? Def Leppard"