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Joke of the Day

"I'll be signing books at the library tomorrow from 2-4pm (or until that librarian calls the cops again). Come on out!"

"What do you call... What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs? A small arms dealer."

"What do you do when you see a space man? Park your car in it man."

"How much is the price of sex in New Zealand? About $20 a kilo."

"TIL there are 45000 breatharians in the U.S. 44999, # 44998..."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue? You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there!"

"What's a parrot's favourite game? Monopoly!"

"I like my women like my coffee... Imported, ground up, and in my freezer!!"

"A Jew Gesundheit"