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Joke of the Day

"TIL there are 45000 breatharians in the U.S. 44999, # 44998..."

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"My mum must be such a bitch. Just found out she left us before I was born."
"Whoever named the seesaw probably didn't get another chance to name stuff."
"There needs to be a third option because getting older or dying aren't working for me."
"The last fight I had with my wife was my fault. She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, ""Dust."""
"What is a gay guys favorite search engine? Bing Bing"
"Some 1-oz liquor glasses were let go from a local pub recently. Shots fired"
"Me: That guy is a bad apple. 6-year-old: He's a person. Me: I just meant he's mean. 6: Probably because you called him an apple."
"Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work? He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea."
"Whats brown and comes out of Cowes backwards? The Isle of Wight ferry."