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Joke of the Day

"A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time? He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog."

"Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"*goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work."

"My family and I went to visit this new zoo that opened up recently but they only had a single canine there It was a shih tzu"

"Why can't two melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."

"""Sorry I didn't have a chance to clean up the place,"" I say as I wave dismissively at the chalk outline drawn on the living room floor."

"Hippos... It's not as easy as you think... Why do hippopotamus' have sex in the water? Have you ever tried keeping a 30lb pussy wet?"

"What is the longest word in the English language? Nina: What is the longest word in the English language? SoSA: SMILES: becoz there is a mile between the first and last letters!"" :P"

"What do you call a Mexican midget prostitute? Cunts-way-low!"