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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to a mathematician the other day about fractions it was fair to say, our opinions were divided"

"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"My son said he didn't think Seinfeld was funny Turns out he's not the Wiz"

"Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not"

"They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton."

"I accidentally started this account when I was looking for a banana bread recipe and things have gone horribly wrong."

"I go through the 7 stages of grief just to get to work everyday."

"Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target? because it was being driven by a woman"

"What do you call a child with no friends? A target"

"How do you spot a vegan at the gym? Pretty much the same as anyone else."