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Joke of the Day

"*goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work."

Next Joke
 
"Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer."
"""I'm usually closed off. But if you get close to me, you'll find that I'll really open up."" -Automatic sliding doors"
"""You'll never see him coming!"" - Quote by Stevie Wonder"
"Keep dimming automatically, laptop screen. We love that."
"What do you call an italian hooker? A pasta-tute"
"Two ninjas are training in a field. One ninja says ""I'll bet you can't hit that that target with your throwing star."" The other ninja says ""Shur-I-ken."""
"I figured out why the plane crashed! There were skeletons driving it!"
"an Englishman , Irishman and Scotsman walk in to a bar the bar was set too low."
"My friend's a psychology major. He's writing his thesis on the psychology of sexual fetishes. It's not ready yet, though- he still has some kinks to work out."