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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."

"I made love to a girl in quicksand. That was the only time she went down on me."

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies? A swallow"

"Why don't prawns give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"I have a dollar bill pressed between my chin and my chest.....who am i? Christopher Reeve at a strip club."

"What's the difference between being horny and being hungry? Where you put the cucumber"

"I was trying to think of a joke about friends... But I don't have any."

"Two wives talking about sex The first asks 'Do you smoke after sex with your husband?' 'I don't know' replies the second 'I've never looked'."

"look son, i kinda need you to go to hong kong & win a martial arts tournament to the death for me because i sorta told my neighbor you did"