210741

Joke of the Day

"A scientist walks into a bar and seems depressed. The bartender asks ""What's the matter?"" The scientist replies ""Everything is matter."""

"To err is human... To arr is pirate."

"I won the prize for laziest person a live... I got a-trophy"

"Why do short people laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!"""

"I squared my root beer... ...now it's just a beer."

"A man walks up to his friend and asks him what he is doing... The man replies: I'm donating this chair to CHAIRity."

"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"

"I think I just passed a Pussy Willow. I couldn't see clearly because there was a big bush in front of it."

"She criticized my apartment... So I knocked her flat"