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Joke of the Day

"Apparently SeaWorld CEO has declared an end to kissing and dancing for its performing Orcas... Now those whales will know how I felt at my high school prom!"

"When Harry Potter ejaculates, it's HP sauce For those who don't know, [HP sauce](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Sauce) is a brown sauce sold in the UK."

"A cleaning service of men who think a hot girl is coming over in 20 minutes."

"He just gave me his last bit of bacon. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. It was a proposal right?"

"Zen master: Do you possess the Buddha nature? Me: Well, I've spent 49 days under a tree. But that was just laziness."

"Knock knock! ""Who's there?"" ""L.A."" ""L.A. who?"" ""L.A. who Akbar!"""

"Magical tractor I was watching a magical tractor driving down the road, when all of a sudden out of nowhere it turned into a field!"

"What did the racist ask Santa for? A white Christmas."

"Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."

"""Can I axe you something?"" is actually grammatically correct, if you're a polite lumberjack"