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Joke of the Day

"He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though."

Next Joke
 
"Donald Trump is getting back into the air travel industry... He's launching...Receding Hairlines"
"How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear."
"Two peanuts walking down the street... one gets *assaulted*."
"I wanted to ride my bike, But it was two tired."
"I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""Son ... How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"Lance Armstrong I hear Lance Armstrong was doping to win the Tour de France again this year."
"Why are gay people so fashionable? Because they spend so long in the closet."
"[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck What's big and blue and has 300 nipples? The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic."
"Me: I HAD A VISION! I was a GARDEN GNOME & I was ridding a FLAMINGO & the FAIRIES sprinkled cocaine on me & I FLIED!! My Therapist: ....."