163352

Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam vets does it take the screw in a light bulb? THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW; BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"What do you call a quadriplegic Canadian? A Can't-adian!"

"Guy asked if I put him in the friend zone. I was like, whoa slow down there. I'll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment."

"Did you hear about the condom that flew across the bedroom? It was PISSED OFF!"

"Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car."

"My dad said the key to a good marriage is ""never go to bed mad."" Then he said ""In fact, never go to bed at all!"" and handed me a bag of meth"

"Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn't finished.."

"How do programmers get a sixpack? int[][] abs = new int[2][3]"

"This is a fine day for Brian Fitzpatrick He can finally marry his long-time partner, Patrick Fitzbrian."

"Looking at all the post on my news feed, it is very hot today. News Flash people, it is summertime. That is what happens in summer months. Keep me posted in January also when it is cold out. Thanks"