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Joke of the Day

"This is a fine day for Brian Fitzpatrick He can finally marry his long-time partner, Patrick Fitzbrian."

"Did you hear? They're making the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey into a romantic comedy. It's going to be called ""50 Hues of Gray""."

"What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet! =D"

"What do you call a Black Guy surrounded by 5 White Guys? Toby"

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute."

"Scientists say you're more likely to die of what your grandparents died of rather than your parents If anyone sees any German snipers let me know"

"Mermaids and their boobs This one has always been a hit for me out in the field, in a goofy way. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because their boobs are too big for B-shells!"

"How do you make the hippie run out of money? You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap."

"People ask me what's my favorite vegetable. Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer."