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Joke of the Day

"A boy asks his mum why he was getting Christmas presents in August His mum replied ""Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy. """

"What did hitler say on his cake day? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN USING THE OVENS FOR THE FINAL SOLUTION!"

"How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac? They use Force quit."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning."

"An English professor sees a gorgeous blond at a party . . . ""Pardon me,"" he says, ""but do you enjoy Kipling?"" ""Gee, I don't know,"" says the blond. ""I've never kippled before."""

"Apple made a bomb It was called the iED"

"Sex is like the Dudley Do Right Show. And her orgasm is like that poor women trapped on the train tracks while you franticly try and get her off before the train comes on her face."

"I once asked a girl out on a date to perform in my favorite hobby. She demanded there be no strings attached We had a shit day flying kites"

"Said she was gonna send a pic of her ""backyard' . Turns out we weren't on the same page"

"It's so hot outside that I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof."