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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning."

"What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !"

"What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings? A pterrorist"

"When I was younger I used to masturbate by having sex with a jar of peanut butter... But growing up and looking back I realize I was just fucking nuts."

"Why do native Americans hate the snow? Because it's white, and it's on their land."

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is."

"Probably he best advice you will ever receive...... don't listen to any advice on the internet"

"Isis has hidden bombs inside alphabet spaghettios. If they go off they could spell disaster."

"as a kid, there really wasn't anything I wanted to be when i grew up. and boy have i nailed it."