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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. ."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose."

"The one good thing about Hitler? He killed Hitler."

"""Hi yes I'd like to attempt the Cheeseburger challenge"" ""Very good sir"" [ripped as hell cheeseburger runs out of the kitchen & bodyslams me]"

"What's the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter? Eskimo pi."

"How did Bob die, when he went on a trip to Africa? He got ""boar""ed to death."

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): An adolescent reindeer is first mocked, and then taken advantage of because of a birth deformity."

"What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp? I don't know. I'm retiring next month."

"If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish."

"""i cnat believe this!"" he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. ""i would expect this from the others but not u"" he says to 1 specific bee"