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Joke of the Day

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): An adolescent reindeer is first mocked, and then taken advantage of because of a birth deformity."

"When life gives you melons... You're probably dyslexic."

"Why are pirates funny? Because they Arrrr (Yes I know its cheesier than my feet)"

"WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*"

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"Why couldn't people find Joseph? He was Haydn!"

"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A shit zoo."

"What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter? 8008132"

"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"

"So I heard on the news that there was a school shooting in my city of Chicago. It must've been a slow news day."