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Joke of the Day

"Whats the worst thing you could say as a doctor? I have over 300 confirmed kills"

"Fun Prank: Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They'll think they have a poltergeist and move"

"why did the spy cross the road because he never really was on your side hold your applause."

"I got punched in the face by a hipster today... I yelled ""Bro, that's not cool!"" He replied, ""not yet""."

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."

"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"

"I was homeschooled so my back to school pics were of me standing in front of the house before I went back inside."

"Black people have 3 things that are white. Their eyeballs, their teeth, and... their masters"

"I was vacationing, and I got to talking to a North African in his native language... ... We just clicked"