114937

Joke of the Day

"Twitter...because if it can't be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?"

"Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year? Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"When someone I don't know likes one of my statuses I think, ""Will this be the story we tell our grandkids?"""

"What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? ""Beat it - we're closed."""

"I hate when someone sneaks up in front of you when you're scrolling on your phone"

"The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public reports say consumption has reached an all-time high"

"Started playing with the self-retracting cord on my vacuum to find out how much weight it can pull; long story short, I'm Batman now."

"A new survey shows that 90% of men masturbate in the shower, the other 10% sing. Know what they sing? Yeah, me neither."

"You are Darth Vader. How can you tell if your stormtroopers just played paintball in their freetime again? You can't."

"The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers) Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said ""Can I have a word?"""