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Joke of the Day

"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"

"Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade? A: The letter ""m."""

"I just found I'm asexual... I'm just looking for A person to be sexual with"

"How can you tell a golf course is owned by Donald Trump? The rough is combed over the fairway"

"Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable."

"I bet the Al Qaeda recruiting video is just footage of Americans waiting in line for cupcakes."

"Paris Hilton should make another sex tape with two black guys and call it [Niggas in Paris](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfM_wS7qYfY)"

"i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on 0 and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid"

"So I bought a nihilistic pencil It's pointless."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."