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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Do you think of me when you're away darling?"" Husband: ""Yes honey I always bare you in mind."""

"Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism."

"A member of ISIS accidentally blew himself up... Well, Ji-had it coming."

"Did your mom get those plane tickets? I'm taking her to pound town"

"It's hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally."

"""How old is your girlfriend?"" ""She's52"" ""Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"" ""Yeah, actually it's yours"""

"*watching husband sleep* Me: ""I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"" *husband snores* Me: ""I can't live like this."""

"A terrorist attack has blown away 2 local houses one made of straw and the other made of wood. Police think that it's probably a lone wolf."

"Why was Hitler confused when he arrived in hell? He did Nazi the Aryan his ways."

"How do you make a bitch love you? You take her to the bone zone"