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Joke of the Day

"[interviewing cave bat] me: any disadvantages to hanging upside down? Bat: [pee rolling down his face] Yes, one."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin"

"What's Hillary Clinton's key to success? The Delete Key"

"Jack and Jill went up a hill each with a buck and a quarter.. Jill came down with two fifty.. That fucking whore. ( The Dice Man )"

"What do you call a lamp you send in the mail? Lamp post"

"I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography."

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"The only reason most men are homophobic is because they are afraid of being hit on in the same manner that they do to women(cat call)"

"If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - T2 Barbie ...a study in silver"