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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing? A buccaneer."

"Girl, you're like school in june.. No class."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but God knows how they got in there."

"To the Chicago Cubs Thanks, you've doomed us all."

"Me: excuse me waitress, I ordered this filet medium-rare and it's clearly a peanut butter and jelly Wife: did you just call me ""waitress""?"

"What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google? A Chromophobe."

"She told me she ""literally died laughing,"" and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face."

"Did you hear about the 3 holes in the ground? Well, well, well."

"It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week... But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed"