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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up a hill each with a buck and a quarter.. Jill came down with two fifty.. That fucking whore. ( The Dice Man )"

"Why is Tumblr so odd? Because they can't even."

"Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"

"How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose? A couple calves, an ass, ten little piggies, a beaver, a shit load of hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find!"

"HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating. ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture."

"I did a girl missionary style I stole her cultural identity so I could take her land"

"Why does a space rock taste better than an earth rock? It's a little meteor"

"I've invented a solar-powered still! It turns sunshine into moonshine. Credit: Quirk."

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples Sounds funny, dozen tit"

"Going to McDonalds for a salad roll is like going to a brothel for a hug."