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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper"

"Little Johnny (x-post /r/AntiJokes) The Mailman saw Little Johnny on the side of the street with an old coffee can. Mailman: What have you got in that can there? Johnny: dogshit Mailman: what the fuck"

"Why did the frog die? It kermit suicide."

"About that loan officer that had too many frozen margaritas over the weekend . . . He was a lender with a blender on a bender . . ."

"The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""

"Why did the blonde snort Nutrasweet? Because she thought it was Diet Coke"

"Co-worker had a meltdown over someone having a b-day cake. Said since she has no willpower, stop bringing cake in. Tonight, baking cookies."

"How do gold diggers get you to be with them? They use their booby traps"

"I would like to apologize to those offended by the false pregnancy gags. I too participated in this prank. I would like to apologize to all the men out there unable to carry a baby."

"What do you call a Mexican who loss his car? Carlos"