162749

Joke of the Day

"What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues"

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"Double limb transplants are so expensive They cost an arm and leg"

"What get's passed around a lot, is soft, barely legal, tender, and really really dirty? A dollar bill."

"What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadrabador"

"How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy"

"Did you hear about the window installer with two penises? He was double-hung."

"Just read a really great tweet that was 140,000 characters long called a book."

"*friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*"

"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""