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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"How do you know when your vegetables are boiled? Their wheelchair floats to the top."

"Needing to ""loose"" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend."

"Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption ""Summer is finally here!"" or we wouldn't have known it's summer."

"Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."

"What do you call the rapid growth of Indian cities? Turbanisation"

"My wife felt guilty I found her using a vibrator. She said she was denying me my pleasure. She's using the batteries from the remote"

"what's the difference between an old greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 36B breasts? one's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"

"I hate being bipolar it's awesome"

"Some say money talks Mine just says goodbye"