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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call!"

"Feels like there's not enough blood in my drugstream."

"""What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!"" -anyone dating Taylor Swift"

"Lets share blonde jokes Howdo you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool"

"Great Insults A letter from teacher to parent:Dear parent,Kamal doesn't smel nice in class.Please try to bathe him.Parent answer:Dear teacher,Kamal is not a rose.Don't smell him.Teach him."

"I've heard they are re-casting Two and a Half Men with 5 midgets."

"Geneticists and Teenage Boys are the same... They both want to unzip your genes."

"Just finished my book about how to get laid at bars. It's called The Girl With the Lower-Back Tattoo."

"Facebook keeps asking me, ""What's on your mind?"", it's like dating someone with low self-esteem."

"So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary It runs in my jeans Credit to /u/jdabarber"