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Joke of the Day

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business :D Edit: Sorry, I'm not sorry"

"What crawls up walls and scares the shit outta Jews? Gas pipes."

"Internet porn? When I grew up... ...it was hard to come by."

"I was worried because I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, iPod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV. Thank God it was just the fire alarm."

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"""Maybe like a tiny bed for your face."" - pillow pitch meeting"

"Why do you always see Santa with a full sack? Because he only comes once a year!"

"I'd try to commit suicide, But I'd probably fail like the rest of my life."

"What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?"

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."