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Joke of the Day

"Ab Muscles: You're having ANOTHER cookie? Brain: Yep! Ab Muscles: You're just never planning on seeing us again? Brain: Nope!"

"7yr old: What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1? Me: Math"

"You know it's weird you add 'French' to anything and it makes it better: 'French cuisine', 'French toast', 'French kiss'... The only exception is 'people.'"

"I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey."

"I had a friend who was right handed but left footed... But he's all right now..."

"How much longer until we can get pets that are also wifi hotspots?"

"Reddit, I am a huge fan of corny jokes. The punnier the better. Gimme your best shot. I'll give you one of my favorites: What does a tree do when it goes on vacation? It packs its trunk and leaves."

"i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad."

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] He had the damp chest of a man with an excessive lisp. He was eating a newspaper."

"Why is heaven a paradise for the common man? Because all the politicians are in hell."