162637

Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandpa... and not like the rest of the family screaming in the backseat"

Next Joke
 
"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."
"I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger"
"If someone wants something their whole life, and you make it happen after they die, that is so goddamned mean. What are you even thinking"
"""It's impossible."" said pride. ""It's risky."" said experience. ""It's pointless."" said reason. ""Ggrraadrttgrrtrr."" said Chewbacca."
"Men couldn't be trusted with multiple orgasms. I've seen the mess they make with one."
"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two-tired"
"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"
"Why do credit cards not work in France? They don't understand the concept of charging."
"What do porn stars have and comedians are? Professional Assholes."