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Joke of the Day

"What do porn stars have and comedians are? Professional Assholes."

"What's the difference between a Bitch and a Slut? A Slut fucks everyone. A Bitch fucks everyone but you."

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"

"Why do black people have red eyes after sexual intercourse? Because of the pepper spray."

"I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?"

"WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling."

"My can of whoop ass seems to have expired."

"I fell in love with a prostitute last night, she had literally everything I have ever wanted in a woman My dick"

"A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, ""Sir, I have three openings for you."" I said, ""I know."" She hung up."

"It must be really awesome being a baker They make a lotta dough."