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Joke of the Day

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"

"It's better to have loved a short man than to never have loved a tall."

"I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a movie with Matthew McConaughey... She said it's not a Matthew McKindaDay."

"how did the Russian babysitter win the race? She got ahead LOL"

"What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ? Being given head."

"You're going to regret thinking of this. Game!"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her."

"What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween? Pump kin."

"Just overheard someone say they need an ""escape goat"" for their project & I can't decide if they're a complete idiot or an evil genius."

"How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay for the pizza."