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Joke of the Day

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"

"I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched."

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"welcome to fireman school. raise ur hand if you thought this was firefighter school *all hands raise* wrong *lights self on fire* FIREMAN"

"Funny Conversation that actually happened to me Me: Hey Dray is that a new watch? Dray: Yeah man Me: Smooth, what kind of watch is it? Dray: Guess Me: Just tell me, I don't know my watches very well."

"What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2? Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd"

"british cops are calld ""bobbys""& dont hav guns. i kno a kid in 3rd grade named bobby who has no gun. hes basically a cop if he go to england"

"Nice guys finish last. And with me, women don't finish at all."

"If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed."

"When attempting to make a good first impression imagine how important good grammar is. Wrong. Importanter."