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Joke of the Day

"If someone wants something their whole life, and you make it happen after they die, that is so goddamned mean. What are you even thinking"

"What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch."

"Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both."

"What's green, slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)"

"Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow."

"A fat racist and a skinny racist jump off a cliff. Who wins? Society"

"So an Irishman walks out of a bar That's it."

"What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt."

"Did you hear about the truck full of blueberries that crashed on the highway? It caused a traffic jam."