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Joke of the Day

"First Rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, discuss, converse, speak, chat, confer, deliberate, gab, or gossip about Thesaurus Club."

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""

"My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'("

"When I see lover's names carved in a tree... I don't think it's sweet. I'm just surprised of how many people bring knives on a date."

"If Jessica Simpson doesn't name one of her kids ""Homer"", then seriously what's the point?"

"What's the difference between Java and JavaScript? Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are."

"I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over."

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away! Well grandma, that's how organ donation works."

"Last night I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69... She made me sweet and sour pork with fried rice."

"Can you say three two-letter words that mean small? Is it in?"