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Joke of the Day

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""

"What's the hardest part about rollerskating? Explaining to your dad that you're gay"

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."

"What is bruce lee's favourite drink? A fruit punch."

"I hate my step ladder for not being my real ladder."

"Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go."

"Teacher: ""what does the fat cow give you?"" Student: ""Homework!"""

"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."

"Ad: You like to save money, right? Me (thinking): dear god, they've read my diary"

"What do you call a blind asian man A blind asian man you racist shit"