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Joke of the Day

"Your mama is so ugly I will slap her face off of her face!"

"For people who've been around such a long time, grandparents seem constantly amazed that children grow."

"What do you call a grumpy girl's desk? A periodic table."

"Maturbating when hooked up to a heart monitor really gets the nurses running around. They never know if you are coming or going."

"So a blind guy walks into a bar... We had to call an ambulance for the poor guy."

"What do you call a king with a weed addiction? Your royal highness."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maybe"

"Don't go to zombie nightclubs... They're always dead."

"What's the worst part about eating out a grandma? Have you ever pulled apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"