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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a king with a weed addiction? Your royal highness."
Next Joke
"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"
"A scarecrow just won a Nobel prize. It was for being out-standing in his field."
"Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster."
"[Being murdered while eating a salad] Please sir will you stab the spinach out of my teeth don't let them find me like this"
"Trying to improve my street cred by lowering our minivan a couple inches."
"Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter..."
"What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King"
"Stupid people aren't flammable enough."
"Did you hear about the dolphin who went thru a existential crisis? Turns out, he lost his sense of porpoise."