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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to shit."
Next Joke
"Latvian Joke One Latvian comes to other Latvian. First say ""is that potato? Will buy."" Second Latvian say ""No, is wife."" Both men sad."
"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
"*yawning at an art museum* ""I already saw that on Tumblr."""
"How do you get a blonde on a roof? Tell her drinks are on the house."
"Symptoms of mental illness: -Hearing voices -Hallucinating -Complaining about how other people use their social media accounts"
"I'll never forget my 8th grade teacher. She was a 12-foot snake monster. Had 4 heads. Ate 7 desks. Killed a kid. Really made an impression."
"What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain? A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches."
"My fake plant died Because I didn't pretend to water it."
"Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas"