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Joke of the Day

"Why dont applebees employees wear watches? Cuz theres a clock on the microwave"

"I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown."

"Getting married next week I told my fiance I'll set a date the day I see the Queen jump out of a helicopter."

"do you know how many Viet Nam vets it takes to change a light bulb? NO...YOU DON'T KNOW...YOU WEREN'T THERE"

"What is a caterpillar afraid of? a dogerpillar. Sorry. It was so bad that I had to share it. Fuck you Laffy Taffy."

"Why did Bill Cosby go to the gynecologist? He heard they carried rape kits."

"Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy? It takes longer to pick up"

"Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies."

"Yo mama so fat She's a reddit admin"

"Ukraine asks Russia to leave... Russia replies, ""Crimea river."""