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Joke of the Day

"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"

"The completely inane bullshit I read on my phone doesn't deserve the super intense face I make while staring at it."

"I don't find dead comedians funny Probably because they're post-humourous."

"Did you see the porn circus? It was fucking intense."

"I cracked a beer at 9:11 this morning... Too soon?"

"If you want to stop a bad habit... eat a cyanide capsule"

"What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car? Dual air bags."

"What do you call an old snowman? Water."

"What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl? What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"What is the job of a gentleman pimp? To Tally-hos!"