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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters."

"My apathy is at an all time whatever."

"I'm thinking of entering myself in a talent contest... It's a neat trick if you can do it --Barry Cryer"

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What's the opposite of running away and getting married? Anteloping."

"Why is Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box."

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints"

"What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can't drink sand."

"I just ended a 5 year relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship :P"