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Joke of the Day

"If your ex is dropping subtle hints drop bigger hints. Like a toaster in a bathtub."

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."

"Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again."

"Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you ""grocery store checkout line"" love them"

"What do you get for the man who has everything? Penicillin"

"What did Sandy say when she came to New York? I come to this great city with great intentions."

"If you smoke while you're pregnant your baby comes out wearing a t-shirt and jeans looking cool as hell."

"Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much all the same... Once you've heard Jaun, you've heard Jamal"

"I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it"

"A duck walks into a drug store, He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter. The cashier asks, ""will this be cash or check?"" The duck says, ""neither; just put it on my bill."""