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Joke of the Day

"Birth Control My wife and I had seven kids. We tried using birth control pills, but they kept falling out."

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"Why do hens sit on eggs? because they're too poor to afford chairs."
"What do kids like to eat in the playground? Recess Pieces."
"Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?[x-post from /r/punny ] Because you can't end on a prep position."
"I lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch."
"What did the prostitute bring to the can drive? Her peas"
"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they"
"I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep."
"[Jesus is resurrected after 3 days] Mary Magdalene: I KNOW YOU SAW MY TEXTS"
"Don't have phone sex You might get hearing aids."
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