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Joke of the Day

"viscoelasticity is a bit creepy"

"""It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."" But it takes much longer to get to England on a rowboat."

"How does Super Mario contact his dead brother? Using a Luigi board!"

"Monday through Friday I have a friend who, Monday through Friday seems very strong, but Saturday and Sunday he's weekend."

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is ""good"" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!"

"*gives you the finger*gives you the spleen*gives you the bones*gives you all the other parts* Now build me a girlfriend like you promised."

"Why is Donald Trump such a surprise? People did Nazi him coming."

"sex toy. do you know about ISIS making there own sex dolls? it blows up itself."