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Joke of the Day

"Do Chinese cities have Americatowns?"

"Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today."

"How can you tell if someone does crossfit? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"OMINOUS CHANTING *pentagram starts to glow* YES! RISE DARK LORD! RISE! *Satan tosses pillow through portal* UNGH 5 MORE MINUTES!!!"

"Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: ""No son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible but I like your thinking""."

"In the future: ""So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them."" ""So what happened?"" ""Apparently god disagreed."""

"What is a Jewish delima? A free ham."

"What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker? Don't poop where you scoop."

"I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing."

"Whoa! I just looked it up and all teachers below 5th grade are actually required by federal law to use Comic Sans."