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Joke of the Day
"People say I've got no willpower But I've quit smoking loads of times."
Next Joke
 
"A guy walks into a bar ... and orders a drink."
"If you are cold just stand in a corner They are usually around 90 degrees"
"There's nothing quite like a pissed off toddler trying to make her point by angrily storming away on a ride on ladybug"
"My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves."
"The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick... I though ""That just adds insult to Ian Dury."""
"There are two Jehovah's Witnesses outside... They're applauding my house for some reason."
"Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they're headcases !"
"Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely."
"I'm driving through a town called Brosville, Virginia. I bet I know what comes next."