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Joke of the Day

"The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick... I though ""That just adds insult to Ian Dury."""

"Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph"

"Bernie will win the 2020 Democratic Nomination... ...because his supporters will be old enough to vote."

"Just heard a little boy call his mom ""mother,"" as if both had already accepted the fact that he'd become a serial killer some day."

"If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch."

"The average person has sex 89 times a year My December is going to be fucking sick"

"A man shows up to his psychiatrist completely naked but covered with saran wrap... Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman's ability to find a reason to post a selfie."

"There should be a warning label on those straw cowgirl hats middle-aged women wear on vacation that reads: ""Will cause freckled cleavage."""

"How does Hillary Clinton say goodbye? ""Seizure later!"""