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Joke of the Day

"Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely."

"Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket? Because he was in de-nile"

"My ex wife got a boob job with my alimony What a bust."

"What has hands but can't clap? Stephen Hawking"

"I went out drinking last Friday and took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."

"Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we're getting somewhere."

"What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball? The bottom of the fifth"

"5 bucks will get you 1 minue access to the ""Peck cam"" where you can watch all sorts of wild birds peck me while i force myself not to resist"

"What would we get if we'd cross one nigger and octopus? I have no idea, but it picks cotton like crazy."